Spoiler alert! This post isn’t exactly about toilet plungers. This post is about supporting YOU through your separation anxiety training journey with your dog. You and your dog are a team, and that journey can feel both daunting and full of optimism and excitement as you work to overcome your dog’s separation anxiety. As Certified Separation Anxiety Trainers (CSATs) committed to a force-free approach, we want to keep all members of the team feeling good and making progress.
Luckily, we know success is possible, and there are lots of really great stories of hope from those whose dogs have overcome separation anxiety. Extensive evidence shows that systematic desensitization and absence suspension are the gold standard of separation anxiety treatment and that it is possible to help dogs recover from separation anxiety.
As CSATs, it’s our responsibility to help YOU feel good along the training journey, and one way we like to do that is by celebrating the “small” stuff with you. The path from panic within seconds of being left to learning to be alone comfortably for multiple hours has hundreds of mini-milestones along the way. It’s essential to take some time to identify and celebrate those mini-milestones for you and your dog.
So Many Wins to Celebrate
When thinking through mini-milestones for your dog, I like to break these down even further into sub-categories, for example: behavioural wins, duration–based wins, process wins, and skill-building wins. I find that this can make it easier to identify all of the beautiful wins that are happening. With separation anxiety training, what some may view as the “small stuff” is actually quite significant. Those small moments are all integral building blocks to our ultimate goal. They indicate that we are moving in the right direction and our training plan is effective.
Behavioral Wins: Signs of Your Dog’s Growth
These are observable shifts in your dog’s alone-time behaviour that are clear indications of their learning. Some examples of mini behavioural wins are:
- The first time your dog sits or lays down during an absence.
- The first time your dog resettles during an absence after a fidgety moment.
- The first time your dog barks at a noise during an absence and then resettles.
- The first time they sleep during an absence.
Duration-Based Wins: Steps Toward Comfort
These are the stepping stones to achieving your goal duration. Some examples of mini-duration-based wins are:
- The first time you can close the door behind you during an absence.
- The first time you can go get the mail solo.
- The first time you can drive away during an absence.
- The first time you can go get groceries during an absence.
Process Wins: Recognizing Your Dedication
These are worth celebrating because they reflect YOUR commitment to helping your dog overcome their separation anxiety. Some examples of process wins are:
- Accomplishing your first week of missions.
- Completing your first Reassessment.
- Working in that first (or second or third) pre-departure cue (e.g. keys or shoes).
- Rebounding after a regression or plateau.
Skill-Building Wins: Honoring Your Expertise
These are a clear reflection of your learning how to support and help your dog. Some examples of skill-building wins are:
- Successfully identifying trends and patterns in your dog’s behaviour during Missions.
- Gaining further knowledge in reading your dog’s body language.
- Deciding to come back early during a Mission based on your dog’s behaviour
I encourage you to take a minute right now to jot down some mini-milestones that deserve celebration for your dog. Do it! It may feel cheesy and like we’re “stretching” for things to celebrate, but we really, truly aren’t.
The Plunger Win: A Story of Success
Now, let me share one of my all-time favorite success stories as a CSAT—the infamous “plunger win.” My client, Samantha, was prepping for guests to come over for dinner and realized that the toilet in her house was…broken. Samantha and her husband had had a baby as well as moved within the last couple of months, and apparently the plunger hadn’t made it to the new house during the move. Samantha was in the middle of cleaning, and her husband couldn’t pick one up before her guests arrived. She was flustered, stressed, and panicked about not having a bathroom option to offer her guests. She started crying at the thought that if only she could leave her dog Reuben alone for 30 minutes, she could run to the store herself and get one. As we commiserated about this later on, we decided that we now had a new goal – to be able to buy a plunger when needed.
Samantha mapped out how long it would take to get to the store, buy a plunger, and return home. It turned out to be 23 minutes. We decided we would massively celebrate when Reuben could be home alone for 23 minutes. Twenty-three minutes may seem small in the grand scheme of things, but it is HUGE for dogs with separation anxiety who often start their journeys struggling at 23 seconds!
And I can happily say that we have made it, and then some! Reuben can now be left alone long enough for Samantha to run to the store, buy a plunger (although now they have 3 – just in case!), and return. We made sure to mark that mini-milestone day and celebrate (and laugh!) that we had made it! I made them a certificate with a plunger on it to commemorate the moment. We fist-pumped together over Zoom, and we made sure to note how truly huge it was!
Celebrate Your Plunger Win!
Celebrating the wins, no matter the size is extremely important because the task of supporting your dog to feel better about being alone is a HUGE deal. Your personal “plunger” win deserves celebration. Achieving it meant suspending all absences, doing hours of repetitive and (let’s be real) boring training. It meant scheduling babysitters, spending too much time in your training workbook, micro-analyzing your dog’s every movement, and talking to your trainer probably more than you ever thought you would. It meant skipping activities because you didn’t want to leave your dog, navigating grocery store pickup, and potentially fiddling with medication timing again.
If we see a small win, believe it. Your dog just did something HUGE and incredible. That means YOU helped them do something huge and incredible. That deserves celebration!
Make Celebrations Fun and Meaningful
Celebrations don’t have to be big or elaborate (although they 100% can be), but it’s important to mark mini-milestones every time you achieve one. Just like you took a minute to note down mini-milestones to celebrate, I’d encourage you to take a minute to list how you’d like to celebrate them. What sort of celebration would feel special and fun to you? For example, maybe you’d like to mark a mini-milestone by texting a friend or family member to share the good news, watching an episode of your favorite show, perhaps while ordering in some of your favorite food, treating your dog to their favorite walk or snack, and/or taking a relaxing bubble bath.
So next time your dog reaches a mini-milestone, I encourage you to look lovingly at your toilet plunger, go pour yourself a drink, and celebrate. YOU AND YOUR DOG DESERVE IT!
ABOUT LIZ FLAMING
Liz Flaming is a Certified Separation Anxiety Trainer and an Accredited Professional Canine Behaviour Consultant located in Alberta, Canada. She has a passion for supporting dogs and their humans to live their best lives together.
She can be reached through her website at www.littleweirdos.ca
