Starting a separation anxiety protocol with mere seconds (or less) of alone time exposure can be daunting. While this is the ideal way to start training for most dogs suffering from this issue, it can be overwhelming to think that those initial moments could eventually lead to hours of comfortable alone time for your dog. The journey will be full of ups and downs and twists and turns, but the end will be so worth it. Separation anxiety is treatable, and there is indeed hope you, too, will be able to soon just walk out the door and live your life.
Reaching the Goal: What Happens Next?
As a guardian, you might find it hard to fathom that a few seconds can turn into minutes, and minutes can ultimately turn into hours. But take heart — I’ve been fortunate to work with many hundreds of dogs over the years, helping their guardians achieve their goals. This experience has given me immense faith in dogs’ ability to overcome separation anxiety with proper training. (I encourage you to borrow my conviction!) So, what happens when you do achieve those multiple hours?
Once you reach your goal, we, as Certified Separation Anxiety Trainers (CSATs), call what happens next “maintenance,” also known as “just living your life.” That likely sounds completely foreign to you after having painstakingly and systematically implemented your protocol and organized your life around your dog’s needs. Let’s dig into what “just living your life” looks like so that you have a true picture.
Practicing a New Normal
Yes, it really is OK to just walk out the door without warmups, without worrying about which items to take (or not), or the need to watch your dog (and take notes) while out living your life!
- Warmups: As you have been training, you have carefully dropped warmups over time. You may have started your protocol with 10 or so warmups and now that you are at your goal, you have removed them and can literally just walk out the door without all that warmup preamble!
- Pre-departure Cues: By the time you reach the maintenance phase, you will have folded in all of your pre-departure cues in such a way that they no longer trigger anxiety or concern for your dog. Remember, when your dog learns that alone time is safe through this training, they also learn that anything predicting alone time is safe. You are also at the point now where you can drive the car away or ride the elevator to the ground floor without your dog worrying. In other words, the entire suite of your leaving routine cues are now incorporated, and, therefore, you can (and will) “just live your life” as mentioned above.
- Turning off the Camera: During your protocol, you probably logged in a lot of time watching your dog on your phone or other device to ensure your dog was not experiencing distress. It can be extremely difficult to wean off watching your dog and turn off the camera, but now is the time that you can do so. If you are anything like me, you might feel the need to peek in on your dog occasionally, but fortunately, you no longer need to be glued to your phone. Oh, the freedom that will give you!
Adjusting to Real Life
Who knew just walking out the door could feel so foreign and scary, right? But, it makes sense. You’ve invested considerable time and emotional labor into your training, so give yourself time to adjust to this new freedom. Trust that you have seen your dog learn to be comfortable through gradual exposure so that he can now be worry-free when home alone. Remember that this exciting time is yours to enjoy due to the commitment you made to your dog during your protocol. Revel in it and celebrate.
Maintenance can feel overwhelming, but remember — you have been practicing this and setting your dog up for “real life” success since day one. The protocol for separation anxiety emulates real life in small increments. Think about it. During your training protocol, you varied the duration of your dog’s alone time exposure on a day-to-day basis to help them build resilience and learn to be comfortable. In real life, there are days when you run out to get groceries, days when you go to a movie, days when you just need to grab a coffee, and days when you’re in the office working. Some days involve multiple hours away, and others contain brief stints of time. This duration variability, which we as CSATs, often refer to as toggling, mirrors the behavior modification protocol from the start. Yes, those easy days are still important, as are occasional breaks for your dog, but in general, the way you typically live your life will ensure that happens.
A Lifetime of Happiness
I recognize that those reading this blog are at various stages in their journey toward successfully addressing their dog’s separation anxiety. Whether you are just beginning or approaching the end of that journey, it’s never too early to start imagining all the things you will do when you reach maintenance. Will there be dinner outings and time with friends? Will you relish the simplicity of going to the gym or getting groceries without rushing or worrying? Perhaps the security of knowing your dog is comfortable while you are at work brings you a sense of joy and peace. Maintenance will include all those activities and more. Believing in your dog’s potential for behavioral success is crucial to the training process, and part of that belief involves visualizing what life will be like once you’ve reached your training goal.
Ultimately, the goal of this journey is a lifetime of happiness and well-being for both you and your dog. Maintenance is not an endpoint but a continuous process of living harmoniously together. Embrace the freedom that comes with your dog’s newfound independence and relish the joy of seeing them thrive. Your commitment and dedication have paved the way for a brighter future, one where you and your dog can enjoy the best moments of life together, both at home and beyond.
Your journey through separation anxiety training is a testament to your dedication and love for your dog. Remember, every second, every minute, and every hour invested is a step closer to a life where you and your dog can thrive together. Believe in the process, trust in your dog, and look forward to the freedom and joy that await you both.
